The Dating Game Show
by Cloud Vasquez
Summary: The Girls of Hinata Inn are going on dates with guys from other shows
1. Motoko is the first to go

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to any of these shows so please don't sue me.  
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A stage with massive curtains opens and we see a young man and two girls walk out on to the stage with a spotlight on them. "Hey everyone I'm your host Cloud. I am here to bring you the dating game show. On today's show, we are letting the lucky girls of Love Hina try there hands on some guys other then Keitaro." The host looks out to see Keitaro with a little grin on his face waving two little flags around. "Okay that was a little freaky, so lets bring this show on the road." Pointing out to the side of the stage and looking at some cards. "Our first bachelor, is a leader of a group of hunters that take out evil wizards and sorcerers making sure that the world is safe for those who can't use magic, please welcome Carrot Glace."  
  
We see Carrot walking out the stage waving his hands around. "Thank you I'm glad to see that all you lovely ladies love me, you really love me." With a big sigh Cloud walks over and smacks Carrot in the back of the head with a paper fan. "No Carrot they didn't choose you" said Cloud "your name was drawn from a hat and you were selected." Looking at the once happy Carrot noticed a slight panic in his eyes. "Hey man if your worried about Chocolate and Tiara I gave them the directions that would take them hours to get here and by then this show will be over by then."  
  
After letting one of the girls go sit Carrot down on a stool behind a blue curtain, everyone could here a loud smack and a the girl's voice yelling "LEAVE ME ALONE YOU PERVERT"! Cloud was looking around franticly and looked back at the audience "Now with out further adieu, the second bachelor is a leader of a group know as the Unrefined or the Ruffians (which ever you prefer) please welcome Bantaro." As the audience applause's we see the only two members of the Unrefined (who happened to resemble monkeys) dragging out their leader who was tied up. "No, for the last time I don't want to go on stage. Jubei-chan is the only girl for me." Ignoring their leader cries the two monkeys were putting their leader on the stool. The taller of the two said "Chief, you need to go or else they said they would hurt us." He was followed by the shorter of the two "yeah Skipper, if you don't get out there then the show can't go on." Giving the monkeys the evil eye Ban said "I told you to call me boss and I don't care if anything happens to you two, I jus-mmmhh, mmhhh." The two monkeys put some duck tape on his mouth to keep him quiet. Cloud looked at Ban and said "Sorry Ban, but we only have thirty minutes of air time and besides when you see her you might just like her more then Jubei-chan." Looking at the audience Cloud said "sorry about that everyone, we will try to control the bachelors a little better, hopefully this will work." Cloud pulled down a rope that has the words PULL TO SUMMON EXCEL. Cloud let the rope go back to the ceiling. "Now for the last bachelor, he is a man with a bounty so big you would not believe it yourself. Give it a big hand for the tall man with blonde hair Vash the Stamped."  
  
The audience started applauding as they saw a guy with blonde hair and a big red coat that covered his bodied. He stopped and looked at the crowd and threw out his hand and with a big grin and yelled "LOVE AND PEACE." Everyone sweat dropped as he walked past Cloud. "Okay Vash that's enough ya'll three take your places at those chairs and behind the curtain." Looking over to see if Vash had finish siting before continuing "Now lets introduce our lucky lady, she's the captain of her Kendo team and the descendent of some famous swordsmen in the country of Japan. Lets give a warm welcome to Motoko."  
  
We see a fox-eyed woman and a young Indian girl push a young woman with long black hair in a white and red kendo uniform. "Hey how come I have to come out here and do this stupid show anyway, what happened to the other girl that's supposed to be here." As the two girls stop by putting Motoko in the middle of the stage she gave a look at Cloud that made him wonder if he could survive one of her attacks. He thought of something quick that took place in a movie and hopped it would work. "Well if you want to know, someone told her that the camera puts on ten pounds so she went to the youth center and started doing swimming laps, well on her 200th lap she had a brain aneurysm and died. That is why you're here." Motoko was a little surprised and thought for a moment and said, "Okay I'll do this just to help with the passing of that girl."  
  
Surprised it actually worked Cloud continued with the show "here you go Motoko just go sit on that chair and read these cards to each of the guys behind the curtains." Knowing she lost this battle Motoko went on. She sat down then looked at the first curtain. "Bachelor number 1, what is your favorite time of the day?" After she had finished B#1(bachelor #1) jumped up and down with a quick response. "My favorite time of the day that's easy its at night, that's when you can go looking for some girls to escort home or look at the stars, so if you pulled it off right you can get lucky."  
  
There was a quite a long pause before anything happened. When Motoko responded "Uh that's disgusting, Cloud you idiot where did you get this bastard." Noticing that she was pulling out her sword Cloud could only reply with "Sorry Motoko I didn't choose him at all, I'm just a victim just like you." Remembering he had trump card, he calmed down. "Please continue reading and remember Motoko I have the Excel rope with me." Thinking over whom Excel might be Motoko continued with the next question. "Bachelor number 2, if I was in trouble would I be able rely on you for help?" "Mmmhhh, mmmhhh" was all they could hear. Cloud jumped up and smacked his forehead "Oh I completely forgot. Hold on for a sec Motoko." Motoko was just a little curious to see what Cloud was going to do back there, but she could not see from her angle. "MmmAAAAAHHHH THAT HURT" said a peeved B#2 (Ban). "Sorry man I didn't realize you where still tied up," said an apologetic Cloud. "Just respond to what the girl's question is." B#2 (Ban) thought for a minute and said, "What was the question?" Cloud face-faulted then looked up and yelled, "IF SHE WAS IN TROUBLE COULD SHE RELY ON YOU FOR HELP." "Yes, she could rely on me I would never leave a woman in trouble no matter the consequence."  
  
Motoko thought it over and went on "Well he sounds better then the last one. Bachelor number 3, if we were on a date, where would you take me." "Hmm, I would take you to a nice romantic dinner for the two of us. Then I would take you to a museum or even Tokyo Tower which I heard can be a romantic get away." After that response all Motoko could say was "I don't know about this one he seems questionable?"  
  
Cloud noticed someone was waving at him from the side of the stage and went over there. He jumped up and said "WHAT great" he ran back to where Motoko was and went on with the show. "Well there you go Motoko you got to ask them all at least one question and since where short on time you get to decide on which guy you want to go out with. So will it be bachelor number 1, bachelor number 2, or bachelor number 3." Surprised to here this Motoko jumped up in Cloud's face. "Hey I said I'd go and fill in for this girl but you never said I had to go out with some bastard I just met, let alone not seeing what he looks like." Keeping an eye on Motoko's sword and wishing he was some where else. "Listen why else do they call it the dating game show you choose one of them or I'll let Kitsune decide for you, and I have feeling I know which one it could be."  
  
After Cloud decided to use Kitsune as a death threat, she continued. "Since that bastard number one is out of question that leaves numbers 2 and 3. Moreover, since I have no choice I guess I'll choose." Pausing for a long time she put her hands to her face then held up her hand with three fingers. Cloud looked at her hand then looked at her. "Motoko your date is VASH THE STAMPED." The curtain opens with the blonde man standing up doing victory poses. "Yes I was the chosen one (sounding like a bad Arnold)." Vash finally looks up to see what his date is. "Hey she's a cutie."  
  
"CUTIE" responded Motoko. She pulled out her sword yelled "ROCK SPLITTING SWORD TECHNIQUE." With out warning Vash who obviously did not realize that she could use those kinds of techniques was flying backstage. "Ouch that's got to hurt, maybe Vash and Motoko is a bad idea." Thought Cloud "Okay then tune in tomorrow when we'll put Shinobu-chan on stage." The curtain closes and the lights turn off on stage. ____________________________________________________________________________ __________  
Author Notes Yes, I finally finished with this. I hope that everyone out there will like this. Give me reviews good, bad I don't care just as long as there reviews. Oh and if my grammar is bad. For the next bachelors I have Kyo Shoma from Fruits Basket, Naota Nandaba from FLCL, and I'm going to bring back Bantaro. I feel sorry for Shinobu-chan. If you have any suggestions or guys that you would like to put on this that would be helpful especially on the other girls. 


	2. Shinobu is next

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to Love Hina, Fruits Basket, Excel Saga or any of these shows so please don't sue me.  
  
And I know my grammar sucks so get over it.  
  
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We see a young man carrying a microphone walk though a stage with two girls that could have been from the "Price is Right" walking next to him. The young man puts the microphone to his face and says "Hey everyone how have y'all been doing. I'm your host Cloud and this is "The Dating Game Show." "Before we gone to the lucky lady and her bachelors I'd like to say that I won't be using the Excel rope instead I'll use this (pulls out a box lunch that says to A-ko from C-ko). Now were going to see how the last lucky couples date went."  
  
Motoko comes out holding on to her sword; she's followed by Vash who seems to be in a wheelchair and looked like a bad rip-off of the mummy. "Listen you bastard" yelled a disgruntled Motoko and then pulling out her sword which was only an inch away from Cloud's face. "Because of you I had the worst first date of my entire life. First, when we went to dinner he was eyeing other women in front of me and then he made me split the bill. Second, he took me to a movie and tried to get his hands on me. Finally, as we were walking out of the theaters when some bounty hunters came out of know where they, chased us around Tokyo. He managed to beat them all, but he destroyed over half of Tokyo in the process." Cloud decided to back away a little, so he was at least out of the range of the sword. "So Motoko, Vash got all these injuries while fighting the bounty hunters?" "No he got them from me" said Motoko. She looked at Cloud and said "And you, I found out that you had this plan from the beginning. So take this ROCK SPLITTING SWORD." As the sword wave flew at Cloud and sent him flying off stage, Motoko then turned around and walked off stage.  
  
Limping back on stage, Cloud looked around to get the all-clear signal before going back to the center of the stage. When he reached the center stage dusted himself off and went with the show. "Now our first bachelor is a return from the last episode (or chapter take your pick) lets give a big hand for Bantaro." The audience cheers him on as he walks out on stage waving at everyone. "Hey I'm surprised that your monkeys out dragging you out here." "Well," said a slightly embarrassed Ban. "I realized that if I get picked I can use this to get me closer to my darling Jubei-chan." With that Ban went over to his spot and pulled the curtain. "Well that was a whole new experience from the last time and I hope that all you other guys that are out their take him as an example."  
  
"Now our next bachelor is a guy with a temper that's shorter then a black-cat's fuse. He is determined to defeat his rival/cousin so he will be accepted into the family; also his family has a curse that makes him turn into an animal when hugged by a person of the opposite sex. Please give a big welcome to Kyo Shoma." We hear the audience giving their usual applause. We see Kyo being shoved out of the side of the stage by four girls; three of them were in girl's uniforms while the forth was in the guys uniform. "Hey you don't have to push me out here I can walk myself to the center stage" yelled the cat. "But Kyo-kun you have to go out there you don't want to disappoint her" said a girl with long brown hair. A little girl (which for some reason Cloud thought was a boy) "Yeah Kyo you should do this for the girl and everyone is out in the audience cheering you on." "Listen Carrot top if you don't get out there I'll beat you with my lead pipe" said the tall girl with long blonde hair. Finally the last person who resembled a girl but was in the boys uniform said "stupid Cat if you won't go out there and cooperate with these people then I'll just tell Kagura about this." "What that it you dumb rat lets settle this right here right now," yelled Kyo. The fiery red head turned around taking a swing at the purple hared boy, he ducked the swing from the cat and kneed him in the gut. "Yuki-kun you didn't have to hurt Kyo-kun like that," said the girl with long brown hair. "I'm sorry Miss Honda, but you know how my cousin Kyo can get," said Yuki. With this, the two blondes in the girls' uniforms dragged Kyo up to his spot as he struggled to catch his breath. Cloud stood there watching everyone "thanks for helping out girls now can you please take your seats with the rest of the audience, thanks."  
  
After everyone had taken there seats and Cloud finally pulled out the box lunch and threatened Kyo with it everyone settled down. "Now let's get on to the final bachelor he's a baseball fan that has a brother that gone pro for the US. His brother's girlfriend and his housekeeper hit on him all the time (literally). In addition, he is a kid with a strange problem that involves robots and his own forehead. Please give a big hand for Naota Nandaba." The audience gives there now very usual applause (notice the sarcasm.) We then see a young boy in a blue sweater walk on stage stops in front of Cloud and asked him; "Why am I here again?" "Well your name was chosen in the draw and you were in her age slot." "So, it's really stupid to make people come out here and get on your stupid show." Standing there for a second Cloud gave Naota the a little smirk then said, "well you'll just have to go with the show or else."  
  
Making sure everyone had calmed down and that he had his secret weapon at hand just in case. "Now lets bring out our next lucky lady. She does the laundry and cooks for the residents of the Hinata Inn. Give a big hand for the pure hearted Shinobu." The audience was applauding once more like the ignorant masses they were, when no one came out. "That's a little odd, hey give me two minutes" Cloud yelled to everyone as he went backstage. "What the hell is going on over there," said Kyo. "She probably got cold feet, I know how that feels," replied Ban. "I said this was stupid before and I'll say it again," a sarcastic Naota added.  
  
"What's going on here we need a show to put on here," yelled Cloud. We came up to the other Hinata residents who all stood there by the door looking at him. "She's a little frightened to come out y'all," said the foxed-eyed Mitsune. Wondering what to do each girl went up to try to comfort Shinobu-chan. Su was the first one to go and try her luck. "I know how to get Shinobu out" pulling out a remote control and summoning forth a new type of mecha Tama. "NOOO!!!" Everyone yelled as they all jumped Su, (faster then a guy saying free T-shirts.) "I'll try," as Naru got up and looked at the door and knocked. "Go away," cried a meek voice from the inside. "Listen Shinobu-chan you don't have to worry about this. And remember if anything happens to you; you'll have us to help you out if you're in trouble." With this the door unlocked and the young blue-hared girl came out. She looked up at Naru and then gave her a hug.  
  
The audience gave Shinobu a standing ovation. She walked shyly on to place where she was supposed to sit. Cloud walked up Shinobu then gave her some cards. "Now Shinobu-chan read the cards to the bachelors and then you decide on which of the guys you would like to go out with." Shinobu looked down at the cards then started reading them. "Bachelor number 1 what would you do if I got sick and had to stay in bed." Bantaro (bachelor number 1) sat for a second, and then went with a reply. "I would do everything I could to make sure you can get better chicken soup or even leek soup. Give you a warm cloth to put on your forehead and stay by your side until you were better." Shinobu was sitting there blushing at Bantaro's answer.  
  
She sat there a few more minutes thinking to her self. He sounds like sempai. Cloud went and nudged Shinobu so she could continue reading her cards. "Bachelor number 2 if I was ever in danger like getting injured would you help me." Kyo was a little surprised at this question then went on with his response. "Well I have this thing that my master taught me and that was to always try to protect others that were in trouble then I would have to go and rescue you. But you better make sure that you don't get into any more trouble after that got it." Everyone was a little surprised at what had happened and they all thought it was a decent response to the question.  
  
"Well that went better then I thought it would be," thought Cloud "now to finish this". "Thanks for your response Bachelor number 2, now for the final Bachelor." Before Shinobu could ask the final question a girl burst though the wall riding a vespa and carrying a bass guitar. When the girl came to a complete stop she threw off her helmet, she had pink her and she looked like she was about 19. "Where did you put Naota?" The pinked haired girl looked at Cloud with the bass guitar an inch from his face. "Haruko, your destroying my show" said Cloud as he was pulling out the evil lunch kit with a pair of chop sticks. Cloud then threw C-ko's lunch at the pinked haired psycho. As the lunch kit flew threw the air Haruko swung her bass guitar with everything she had, and knocked it back it to Cloud's face. Causing him to fall back and turn green and blue. Haruko then jumped up to where the curtains where and opened the first one to see a frightened Bantaro. "Not Naota" said Haruko. She ran to the next curtain and threw it opened. "Hey, what the hell are you doing here you psycho," yelled Kyo. "Your not Naota either," replied Haruko. Realizing she only had one left she jumped high into the air and divided into the third curtain. She came jumping out from behind the curtain clutching a bluish Naota in her hands. Haruko jumped back on to her vespa, then driving away while dragging Naota with her.  
  
It was a while before everyone had calmed down; and one of the "Price is Right" girls had to bring Cloud back to life from the C-ko's evil lunch. "Oohh, that was the worst thing I've had since that suicide blizzard I had at work" groaned Cloud. Eventually Cloud got up and looked around to see what had happened. He pulled up his microphone and continued with his show. "So Shinobu since there are only two bachelors left who will it be number 1 or number 2?" Shinobu sat there nervously trying to choose either of the guys hoping not to hurt either one's feelings. "Which one if only I didn't forget what there responses where," thought Shinobu. She was about to freak out when she yelled out "NUMBER TWO". Then she slapped her hand on her face realizing that it was too late. With that a curtain number two opened up to reveal Kyo who was standing there a little surprised that he was chosen. Cloud jumped up waving his hands at the crowd and said "Okay everyone join us next time when we put Su up on stage and we return with this lovely couple." ___________________________________________________________________  
  
Yah I finally finished chapter 2. Sorry it took so long, but I've got summer school and I have to go to work. The blizzard it something my friends and I tried and it's really not worth it. (It had different layers and it also kept changing different colors and tasted different with each bite XP.) Okay sense Su going to be the next girl I'm going to need a lot of help trying to get at least three guys. I have only one so far and that's Momiji. 


	3. Sorry

Sorry it's taking so long to update the Dating Game Show since I've transferred to a new college my zip disk is having a hard time staying on a Mac. That plus Su is a really hard girl to choose some unlucky bachelors.  
  
Please accept my apologizes. 


	4. The Hardest one of them all Su

Disclaimer: I don't own any rights blah, blah, blah y'all know the rest.  
  
And yes I know my grammar sucks so get over it.  
  
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We see a dark little room with a single light overhead. "Lets see which girl gets to go on a lucky date today" said Cloud as he put his hand though a hat. As he finally picked a note that he thought would be perfect for today's show. His hopes turned into horror. "What her, why the hell does it have to be her. Damn I really hope Megumi is enjoying her time off. Now do I have enough tranquilizers for today?"  
  
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The stage opens up, and we see out host Cloud walking onto the stage. "Hey everyone glad to see y'all come back for another episode of the Dating Game Show. Now lets see how our last couple liked there date before we move on. Give a big hand for Shinobu and Kyo." The young couple then walks onto the stage. "So how did your date go," asked Cloud? "Well it was okay," said a nervous Shinobu. "We went for a walk in the park then we ate lunch and we both went to that never-land park together." Cloud looked a little surprised at Shinobu's response, and then he looked at Kyo. "So, does this mean that you two will stay or go your separate ways" said Cloud. Kyo jumped up in and yelled "What do you mean by that you damn idiot." "Hmm, oh well lets bring out our bachelors for today's show.  
  
Cloud then stuck one hand high in the air and announced his first victim (I mean guest). "Out first bachelor is another Sohma, he's hyper active and even has some girls chasing after him also. Give a big hand for Momiji. With this a little boy with short blonde hair came jumping onto the stage, he was wearing a pink shirt with blue shorts. "Hi everyone my name is Momiji Sohma, I've just started going to my new school were my cousins and my friend Tohru are all going at. As you can see I'm very cute and I hope I can someday make the world better." After announcing to the world of who and what he was going to do he then went to sit down.  
  
Cloud looked at Momiji for a second. "Some thing tells me I'm going to have to his that kid with a tranquilizer." "Are next lucky bachelor is one with many girlfriends so what's one more girl. He's really a Jurian prince. Since he's really well known theirs not much else to say give a big hand out to Tenchi Misaki. As we see Tenchi coming out on stage the crowd isn't cheering for some reason or another. "What's going on people I thought y'all liked him." "Excuse me, but why did you put lord Tenchi on this god offal show?" Said a high-pitched voice. "Yeah who the hell are for bringing Tenchi here against his will"? Said another voice that was a bit rougher. Cloud didn't need to even turn around to know who was standing right behind him. "Please girls before you try to destroy me, please listen to me. I was told to put him up here." "Sorry, where taking back lord Tenchi any way. " And without any hesitation Ayake and Ryoko drag Tenchi away by a rope. "Well since that was a total failure who the hell do I get now?" Cloud looked into the audience for a second and noticed a familiar face at least enough to get him though today's show. Our next (un) lucky bachelor is also in middle school; he's got red hair that sticks out like a paper towel roll. He also has his own laser sword (note I didn't say light saber or plasma sword). The assistant of the spirit detective Yuske lets welcome Kuwabara." "Huh, did he just say my name?" Asked the redheaded dope. Hiei replied as if he was being questioned. "Yes, and it sounds like the host was making a desperate call to get someone on stage." After a couple of minutes of tripping over other members of the crowd Kuwabara finally made it. One of the hostess guided Kuwabara by the arm. "Now please get behind the curtain so we can bring out our next guest."  
  
"Finally the last bachelor is from feudal Japan, he's the son of the great dog demon, and he's currently on a quest to look for a mystical jewel. Please give a big hand for Inu-Yasha." (Crowd applauds as usual blah, blah, blah.) A girl and a boy both come out on stage together. "Inu- Yasha why are you being so stubborn?" "Why who keeps interrupting my fights with that damn wolf? Well Kagome?" Kagome looked down for a second then yelled, "SIT". "Aaahh," screamed Inu-Yasha as he had a nice fall. Cloud walked over to Kagome and whispered into her ear, "hey if you want Inu-Yasha to come crawling back just let him do today show." "Is this show really going to do that to him?" "Of course." With that Kagome went to go sit in the audience. After Kagome went to go sit down Inu-Yasha got up and grumbling to himself as he got behind the curtain.  
  
Now since we finally have the entire cast of victim I mean bachelors our lucky lady can come out. She's a middle school student that's an extremely intelligent mech builder; she likes bananas and flying hot-springs turtles, and she's a princess of a small island nation. Give a big hand for Kaolla Su. The audience starts applauding, (like good ignorant masses). We then see the Indian looking girl run on stage and jumping on top of Cloud. "Hey Keitaro did you know with that tan of yours you look just like my big brother." Cloud was trying to pry Su off his back when he said, "listen Su I'm not Keitaro or your brother I'm a Hispanic." "Hispomic is that something yummy," said a drooling Kaolla. "No, listen go and sit up there and read the cards when I tell you okay. "Okays." Su ran up to the top and jumped on top of the chair. "Okays basher 1, what is your favorite mech?" "Hmm, I guess it would have to be the show from SD Gundam." Su jumped up in surprise, "sorry those aren't real mech like this." With this Su hit a button and a mechatama the size of a human flew out from the stage and launched a couple of missiles at the poor defenseless rabbit. "Waaaaahhh Su's is trying to hurt me," wailed the little bunny. Cloud looked over at the smoke that was coming from were Momiji was and wondered who the hell decided to put Su in the show.  
  
Su continued reading her cards. "Basher number 2, what is the average flight speed velocity of a fully unlaiden swallow?" Kuwabara had no idea what to say. "Um, would it be 23. No 46. No 69." "I'm sorry but the answer was African or European." With that being said Su pushed another button, this time a giant hand that resembled a gundam's came from the ceiling down to flatten the redheaded boy like a pancake. Cloud was starting to get queasier by the second having seen Su take out two bachelors.  
  
"Um, lets move on to the last bachelor okay Su." "Roger, roger," yelled Su. "Basher number 3, why do you have cat ears on your head?" "CAT EARS, What the hell are you talking about their dog ears. And I'm a demon got it." "Dameon? Is that something yummy?" "That's it I'm taking you out before you can get to me." After saying this Inu-Yasha jumps up from behind the curtain and pulls out his Tetsaiga as he's coming down on Su. Su pulls out a microphone, turns it on. "SIT." "Aaahh," screamed the poor half-demon has he came straight down. Cloud looked up for a second, "Great looks like I'm going to the hospital again." After finishing his sentence the demon crash-landed on top of Cloud creating a little crater on the stage. After a few minutes Inu-Yasha and Cloud both crawl out of the crater. Su runs over and jumps on top of Inu-Yasha's head, "I choose him." Cloud looked at Inu-Yasha for a second and whispered, "I feel sorry for you." Cloud then climbs out dusts him self off. "Well I hope everyone loved today's show please come back next time. "Hey, you can't leave me her with this psycho bitch." ___________________________________________________________________  
  
Yah I finally finished chapter 3. As I said in my apology letter I've had a lot of different things. I also apologize for rushing the end of this chapter. Please leave your reviews.  
  
Baka-Alaskan: Glad you liked it. Yes long live the SFFAL. Ed loves crayons: Thanks for supporting me Edoni-chan. Stelok: Thank you metallica-wedo: Sorry Tenchi wasn't in it longer.  
  
Remember if you have a request I'm up to listen to it. 


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